After I my first husband and I were divorced, the very idea of dating chilled me to the bone.
When you stay, it’s because what appears to be the implicit understanding is that you’re taking a leap of faith on them so they must stop being addicted or leave their partner.This is why we can be very angry with ourselves and struggle to trust because in over arching with our benevolence, we recognise that we’ve made a big mistake.I had suspected, and asked him about it with some frequency, but he never did fess up.Only when a therapist forced us into a hotel room for a weekend, telling me if I 'shared' first, he would no longer work with me, did my husband tell me the truth.When we keep plugging away, it’s because it would be ‘better’ for them to prove our trust investment right than for us to admit we’ve made a mistake.
The ability to trust yourself and trust others actually comes from having your eyes and ears open and processing feedback. He's had a string of terrible relationships that will inform how he acts with you. It's very likely that he's been burned before and it was traumatic enough that he's wary of being hurt again.If that history has been established, keep it in mind moving forward.If communication is a serious issue for you, though, it's certainly worth speaking about it with him and exploring other options.5.He could be irrationally paranoid and ask tons of questions.However in making the decision to take them back or to ‘work at things’, even though you may be saying you don’t trust them ‘yet’ or that they’ve ‘got a long way to go before they earn their way back into your good books’, in resolving to be together, you have trusted.